mair pish

ah wis gonnae tell yes aw aboot chavy daves site but theyve no updated it in ages, so um urnay. bawbags.

nae worries troops

awright folks, ahm still here, jist forgot aw aboot this blog thing man. went oot on the pish after ma quality arnie post and didnae come back fir three days. the bird was birlin man, couldnae shut the face on her for days. had tae buy her shite tae keep her sweet.

anyways ahm back and mair shite will be spewed here soon!

thought fir the day: dinnae gie yer hauns tae a manky dug tae clap it cos ye know itll end in tears

dae whit the big man sez

the big arn sez:

motors n aw that

got masel a new motor the day, wisnae dodgy like, cannae be seen drivin roon in a knocked aff piece ae shite man. went tae the big man, the arnold clark, got masel sorted oot wi wan them corsas man, magic. got masel the cd wi it too, kin play oasis right fuckin loud man. might take it roond tae frannie see if he'll put ma bass tube oot ma old fiesta in there, pure lood man. its no an beemer m3 but itll dae, no whit um sayin?

bawbag in the shop didnae tax it right tho, so need tae go back tae um and gi a slap. thur must be summat aboot giin oot slaps, maks me feel brand new.

wis sittin typin this and gets a text aff sharon the bird, shes away on this coarse for the work, she's wantin tae move up frae the phones in this call centre tae the managers so thev sent er aff tae dunoon fur three days man, pure magic got the hoose tae masel, got the motor, just pure bliss man. anywis, shes textin me sayin how the car go, gonnae stick in this n that afore a gets back, shes wantin aw this shite in the moter, wee pillows in the back seat. ah kin feel another slap comin on. ahm no wan fur slappin the burds, no way man, but sometimes ye get the urge cos the shite she comes out wi. need tae swallie that back cos heres ma thought fur the week: hittin the burds disnae solve nuthin, so keep yer haunds tae yersel .. unless yer gettin yer nat king, then shes fair game man!

its sorted oot

dinnae fret, the big wulls is still here man, git cut aff by bt utter pish. but wee specky stevie hus got the wireless for the internet, got me a caird for the laptoap last night man, aboslute magic, so here ahm bloggin again

nae danger! mon the hoops the night!

haw man, hairy bush

wis watchin the news, aw aboot they two hairy wans in the states toolin up fir the elections the day. coupla fannies man. if theyre no gonnae gi me any extra bru money, i couldnae care if they sat in a big tub o jelly an fought tae find some ice cream in the middle. that wid be pretty cool but. even better man, gi thum a couplae air pistols an dae the whole walk ten paces shite then watch em pummel fuck oot each oers faces, quality!

mind you a air cap in the nads man, that wid sting fur weeks!

ah wis a tube

awright troops

ah wis usin a wee photie o porkins the fat xwing bullet frae the star wars, didnae twig it kept gettin loaded aff some tubes server, so he changed it tae pit retards in it. bit nasty man, but ah've changed the pic anyway so tae no bother um again.

another lesson fir bawbags everywhur: dinnae load pics frae the servers that urnae yours - copy the bastart un pit it on yer ain server

phones 4 shite

went oot tae the forge fur a bit o the shoppin like - am no a poof like but yuv got tae get oot and get the threads in fur the burds, cannae look like a wee ned prick wi the shell suit and the burberry wank on yer heid eh? so in the forge runs intae wee alex, whits in is haund? this new mobile, pure spunkin oer it he wis. "haw haw its pure magic" is aw a heard fur like 20 mins man. "its pure gem, two hunnerd ringtones man, aw these spaces fur ma celtic logos man, an ah kin download aw these games too man"

ah wis aboot tae gi'um a slap when he fires up the space invaders on the phone! space invaders man, i wis playin that when i wis knee high tae a grasshopper. how'd ye get that, ah says tae um, he says "aw ye go tae the wee website an ye just download it man, easier than gettin the porn aff the inturnet man" then he comes oot wi the pure belter "didnae cost me mair than a fiver man", i says i hope it didnae cost ye mair than 10 pee! "naw, man, a fiver it wis"

a slap wis duly delivered, wee bawbag. wee specky stevie frae doon the close wrote space invaders on the zx eighty wan for nuthin and alex is spendin a fiver on it? loop de fuckin loop. i gave um another slap cos gi'n the first wan oot felt fuckin magic.

whit a wee dick

wis watchin that al pacino on the sky last night, he wis bringin this wee dick colin farrell intae the cia, aw pure spooks n spies man. its the same wee dick that wis in the minority report wi tom cruise an harts war wi bruce willis. he tries tae be the pure hard man but faced wi superior hardness he turns intae a pure fannybaws. somebody gi'um a doin, eh?

aw done for the night

right, thats ma first night on the blogger, it's been pretty good, hope yis all enjoyed yersels, ye've been a lovely audience, don't forget to try the veal :)